Distraction Vs. Interaction

Psalm 2 V12 says “Blessed are those who take refuge in Him”. A refuge is a place of safety. A place I can go when my emotions are all over the place. When my chest feels beyond heavy and I’m not sure whether to go run a marathon or sit in a corner and cry. When I get this way I usually clean and organize anything that can be organized. Or I plan a vacation, listen to Christmas music, or watch a Christmas movie. These things help bring a calmness to my soul or atleast take me to memories of calmness. When we get overwhelmed we look for that “thing” that will calm our hearts. They work for a second and then most of the heaviness remains. 

But blessed are all who take refuge in Him. Yesterday I read about being planted and flourishing in and out of every season. Today is about taking refuge in Him. Running to the Father. Sitting with Him and pouring out my heart. Asking Him for wisdom and strength and peace of mind. Our days are filled with ups and downs, excitement and disappointment. So much that we become used to the adrenaline of it all. But we can’t continue to carry it all without laying things at His feet. We can’t use things or places as a substitution for real peace He promises to give us. It’s really not easier to plan a vacation than to just sit and talk with the Father. We are looking for a DISTRACTION rather than an INTERACTION with our Father who gives us true life and peace. The enemy loves to keep us distracted. He doesn’t want us to really deal with the things in our hearts and to find freedom. He would rather keep us distracted and fill our lives with meaningless things that really won’t change our situation. 

This doesn’t mean that the vacation or watching movies is bad. But have we dealt with the things in our lives that we know are there? Where are we finding refuge? Are we distracting ourselves or willing to have that interaction? If I am honest, most of the time I choose distraction. But not today. Today I admit my need for Him and for the peace I know only He can bring. Today I rely on the strength only He can bring. Today I rest in Him knowing that He is with me every step of the way. Distraction will not win today. Interaction will. 

It’s Been A While…..

Do you ever feel like you have so much to say but not enough energy and discipline to say it? It’s been a little over six months since I have written a blog. To be honest I forgot where to go and how to format it. So, I am re-learning. There are days when I feel like God is downloading so much yet I am not faithful to sit and write it or process it. So I’m gonna start again. 

I was reading today in Exodus 7 verse 1. “The Lord said to Moses, Pay close attention to this. I will make you seem like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron will be your prophet”. If you go back a little before Chapter 7 God is wanting to use Moses to speak to Pharaoh yet Moses did not feel like he was the right person. He thought of himself as a clumsy speaker. Because of this the Lord appoints Aaron to use his voice. God speaks to Moses and then Moses tells Aaron and then Aaron speaks to Pharaoh. Crazy! Moses was still a part of the process but was fearful of using his own voice. 

I think about all the times I have been fearful of the same thing. Using my voice. If the Lord put something on my heart I would be sure to tell Bryan and ask him to deliver it. I was certain he would get the point across more clearly and would definitely be more comfortable doing it. And then let’s be honest, if there was any criticism from what was said he would take the fall for it. 

I have grown in this over the last few years. I can’t pinpoint the difference other than obedience. Each time God has asked me to step out of my comfort zone I have said yes. There comes a point in your life, maybe it’s when you are my age (44) when you get tired of fear ruling everything you do. I pray that whatever age you are right now will be the year you stop letting fear rule your life. 

God wants to use your voice. He sees things in you that you will not see in yourself. He created you! He knows everything about you! Why is it that we do not trust the one who sees the beginning to the end. It’s easier for us to believe that we can’t do something rather than we can. We give excuses and we believe them.

There are people in your sphere of influence that need you to speak truth to them. They need encouragement and they need to know that God is near. Where is God asking you to step out? Who is He asking you to speak to? He has given you a voice! Clumsy or not, use it!

Own Your Season

I love Christmas time! There is something about the season that brings joy and happiness. We have Christmas music on 24/7 and our home smells of pine. I love coming home from work and turning on the TV and seeing all of my favorite Christmas movies. But if I am honest, this season feels different. I am struggling to feel what I usually feel and it frustrates me. I know the reason for the season and I am so thankful for Jesus. That part doesn’t change for me, but all of the rest just feels a little off. 

When that happens in my life, there are two things I can do. I can either ignore it all and turn inward and seclude myself from every feeling and instead eat my feelings, or I can take a hard look at my life and see what is out of order and fix it. I can OWN it! I am not sure why but the first one always feels a lot easier. I really do not like looking inward and analyzing where I am. How is my walk with the Lord? Am I in my Word? Am I exercising and eating right? How are my relationships?  How is my Family?  All of these questions alone are enough to make me want to seclude and eat my feelings. But if I really want to get out of this funk, I need to confront it all head on. 

So today is a new day, I started in my Word. What a difference it makes to take some time with Jesus. I was reading in Proverbs 27:23. It says, “Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds.” In the scripture it is referring to actual flocks but it made me think about those who are around me, who may be feeling the exact same way I am. It’s really hard to know the state of your flocks if you look on Facebook or Instagram. We all post our very best times. It doesn’t mean those times aren’t  great but how are our hearts when those moments fade? Just a question to ask ourselves. 

I scheduled an exercise class today. I have been out of the gym for three weeks. Now granted I have scheduled a class almost every day for the last three weeks, but cancelled every day. :) I’m surprised they are still letting me schedule. And I (Bryan) put a pork roast on for dinner.  These all seem like little things but for me they are the big things. We are all created differently and know what we need to feel like we are doing ok. 

What works for me may not work for you, with the exception of the Word of God. Start there today. Spend that time with Him. And then see where you may be a little out of whack. It’s all about “Owning our Season”. We can’t fix what we aren’t willing to change. And we can’t change if we aren’t willing to acknowledge what we need to fix. 

This is nothing earth shattering or deep that I am sharing today. It’s just something practical to help you get back on track if you are feeling a bit off. And don’t be hard on yourself. (Speaking directly to myself)  This year has had its challenges and there is alot to process in all of that. But start asking yourself the hard questions. God doesn’t want you stuck, that is a scheme of the enemy. He came to give us Life. A life that is so full of joy in Him.  A life that is centered around Him and nothing else. A life that is not meant to compare with others lives but that is fully dedicated to Him.  Own YOUR Season!

The Goodness of God

I am sitting in my office listening to “The Goodness of God” by Jenn Johnson. It is my go to song at times. I think it is so easy to get sidetracked and forget all the beautiful things God has done and continues to do in our lives. Not that my life is perfect, but the fact that I have a God that has and will continue to love me through the good, bad, and the ugly is enough to shout about! We sometimes have to remind ourselves of these things. We can get so focused on what we feel like is NOT right that we lose sight of all that is right. 

I am so guilty of this, and many times I focus on the negative. Let me give you an example. My daughter Taylor joined the YMCA right down the street from us. She has been going to classes and enjoying them, so I thought I would join her. I thought it would be a good time for us to bond while enduring physical pain lol! At the Y, they sell these heart monitors that show your heart rate and the number of calories that you are burning. They are actually really cool! Your results and name are displayed up on a screen for the whole class to see.

 I have an apple watch, so I set my workout mode and also like to see my calorie burn. Let me just say that the fact that I am going to the gym is a win. I need it mentally and physically. Do I celebrate this win, not usually. Do you know why? Because I tend to look up at the T.V. and wonder how in the world Liz has burned 600 calories in a Bodycombat class and my watch says I burned 300. Like, what am I doing wrong? I become very jealous of Liz!

My point is I can become so discouraged in the comparison that I discount my own win. I think it’s easy to do this when looking at other people's lives and it’s such a tactic of the enemy. God is working in and through your life, stop and take notice. If you need to, write down some good things God is doing in your life. I promise you they are there. Stop looking at Liz and comparing your wins to hers. (I am talking to myself). Celebrate the small victories because they are in fact victories. 

When we can begin to celebrate the true goodness of God in our lives, we will really begin to enjoy our lives. The song says - “All my life you have been faithful; all my life you have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God.” Let that be your heart cry today. 

Freely Give

This is going to be one of those blogs that I never really saw myself writing. However, in my quiet time the Lord revealed some things to my heart that I felt were worth sharing. Bryan and I have always been tithers ever since we were married. (Don’t quit reading lol) Tithing meaning returning 10% of our income back to God. God also calls us to give above and beyond our tithe, this is where I have always had a problem. My heart hasn’t always been willing to do this and I sometimes still struggle with this. 

Today I was reading in Samuel, Chapter 30. David’s camp has been invaded and all of the people have been taken captive, including David’s two wives. When David comes upon his city and sees that this has taken place, he begins to weep and becomes greatly distressed.  It says that David strengthened himself in the Lord and inquired of the Lord if they were to go after those who did this. The Lord said “Yes”, and that David and his men would overtake them. ( Anybody else a little jealous of how fast the Lord answered David lol) So, David and six hundred men set off.

The chapter goes on to reveal that along the way two hundred of his men begin to get tired and end up staying behind. The other four hundred continue on and end up catching up with the enemy, slaughtering most of them, and everyone and everything was returned back to David and his men. Sounds like a great day right! (Minus the slaughtering of course.)  David and his men that had gone into battle returned back to  the men who had stayed behind.  And this is where I started to feel the ouch factor. 

1 Samuel, verse 22 says, Then all the wicked and worthless fellows among the men who had gone with David said, “Because they did not go with us, we will not give them any of the spoil that we recovered, except that each man may lead away his wife and children and depart.”  Now if I am being honest, I thought this seemed fair. They did not go into battle or have to do any of the hard work, so why should they get the spoil? Then I begin to see that the scripture calls these men wicked and worthless and it makes me think.  David begins to speak the Father’s heart in verse 23. But David said, “You shall not do so my brothers, with what the Lord has given us. He has preserved us and given into our hand the band that came against us. Who would listen to you in this matter? For as his share is who goes down into the battle, so shall his share be who stays by the baggage. They shall share alike.”

This rocked me just a bit. I begin to think back to times that the Lord had laid people on my heart that were in need or times that I felt like I was supposed to give above and beyond yet justified why I shouldn’t. Can anyone relate? Yet, it is God who has given us everything we have. I think there are times that we feel like it’s hard earned money that WE have sacrificed for and sometimes WE become the judge of who deserves it and who doesn’t. I have done this. I still do this. 

Today’s reading was a great reminder that everything that I have, I have because the Lord has put it in my hands. David knew this. He saw that the battle that they won, they only won because God was for them. And because of that, they were able to enjoy the spoils. It wasn’t just for those who fought in the battle, it was also for those who sat by and waited. What God had delivered into David’s hands he freely gave because he understood it wasn’t his.

Out of the Baggage

I am away this week in the mountains of North Carolina with my favorite guy. (My husband)  We have only been here for three days and I can already feel my soul begin to rest. The beauty of God’s creation is all around me and His words have been echoing in my heart. Yesterday was my birthday, I turned forty-four. According to my daughter Taylor, that is one year away from being five years away from being fifty. (What a sweet thought)  I feel like God gave me a gift during my quiet time yesterday and I wanted to share it with you. So Happy Birthday to me and to You!

Yesterday's reading was on 1 Samuel 10. I want to give you a little back story. There was a man named Kish, who had a son named Saul. Kishs’ donkeys had gone missing and he sent his son Saul and a servant off to look for them. They searched many lands and could not find them. Saul’s servant told him of a prophet named Samuel who could tell them where to find them. So they set off to find Samuel. Now this was a total set up because God had already spoken to Samuel and told him of Saul and how he was to anoint him to be King of Israel. What?? Saul thought he was searching for donkeys yet God had another purpose for this chase. (That’s a message in itself). Crazy right!

Fast forward and Saul and Samuel have met, the donkey’s have been revealed to be safe back at home, and Samuel begins to reveal the heart of the Lord for Saul and how he has been chosen to be King over Israel.  Samuel begins to tell him of all the signs that will happen to confirm the Word of the Lord and the Bible says that all these things take place, and that God gave Saul another heart. (A new heart) Now you would think that this would be enough to empower Saul and make him feel secure in this new calling. But it wasn’t. 

Samuel is about to bring forth all the tribes of Israel to choose a King. Apparently God had revealed to him who it would be but they still had to work the process. All of the finest men from each tribe were represented and taken by lot, Saul being one of them. But when they went to look for Saul he could not be found. It says that they inquired of the Lord to where he was, and the Lord said, “Behold, he has hidden himself among the baggage.” (ESV) Saul was HIDING! In the BAGGAGE!

Recap. God had sent Saul on a donkey chase. Saul meets Samuel in the process thinking that he’s there to get clarification on the donkeys, when really Samuel is there to speak over his life that Saul will be King. Signs and wonders then HAPPEN to CONFIRM the word of the Lord. God gives Saul a new heart and he begins to prophesy to those around him. And now when the time comes to choose a King, Saul is HIDING?

Now this is my favorite part. It shows Saul’s humanity. God has been with him on this whole journey yet when the time comes to be set apart as King, he hides. I can relate to Saul. Can you? Saul just wanted to find his father’s donkeys, not become the King of Israel. Yet, he was God’s chosen man for this season. Saul had to have felt scared or unqualified to hide in the baggage. 

I want to give you another meaning of “hide in the baggage.”  As we were driving through the mountains yesterday I was thinking about this text. Saul literally hid in baggage, like supplies. But how many times do we “hide in our baggage.” We know God has placed dreams in our heart or has called us to a higher standard but we feel comfortable hiding. Safe where no one can see us, touch us, hurt us, judge us, but yet God saw Saul in the baggage and knew his purpose and called him out. It’s crazy to think sometimes we would rather stay stuck in our junk than trust where the Lord is taking us.  I have done that for years. I have never been a dreamer and have always felt like others' purposes were greater than mine. I have stayed stuck in anxiety and depression for seasons always feeling God didn’t see me. But He did. He saw me in my baggage just as he saw Saul in his. And He loves me because I am His, not because of any other reason. 

The enemy would want nothing more than to keep you stuck. But you have a purpose, and God has set you apart. No matter where you are in your life, God has given you a voice. A voice to encourage those around you, a voice to speak life over situations, a voice to declare His name, a voice to lead your children in the ways of the Lord, a voice to speak to friends that are in dark places, a voice to drown out the noise of this world and direct people to a life of Hope in Jesus. Your voice matters. Come out of the baggage today and know that He has set you apart for His purpose. 

Picking Up the Pieces

When I think about the reality of my life and how I am “doing”, it’s usually based on how my girls or Bryan are doing. It’s not so much that I am affected by things happening in my own life but by the things affecting those around me that I love. I pick up their problems. They don’t ask me to, but I love them. I want to fix it ALL, by whatever means. This last year has been a really hard one for both of my girls. I have watched them go through so many struggles and heartaches. Of course, there have been amazing things happening too. I have seen so much strength and growth in both of them. But what is my reaction when they are struggling? Do I give it to God or take control of the situation and try to begin picking up the broken pieces.  If you ask my girls, they would probably say both, but I probably lean more towards taking things into my own hands. :) Sorry girls!

I was in Galatians Chapter 3 today during my quiet time. I was reading in verse 3 into verse 4. Paul is speaking to the Galatians and begins by saying, “Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? Did you suffer so many things in vain - if indeed it was in vain?” Wow!! So many times I take the things that are on my heart to God but somehow I also think He needs my help. As if I know more than my Creator. I am handling situations based on how I feel at the time, or what I think is best. Yet, God sees the beginning to the end and knows all. I begin in the Spirit but end up letting my flesh take over. And can I tell you that Yes, so many times it is done in vain! To be done in vain means to not succeed in achieving what you attend. Even if I do achieve what “I” attend, it’s not an achievement at all if it was not God’s will. How many times do I drive myself completely insane trying to pick up the pieces that are not mine to pick up. 

I will always be a part of my girls' lives. And I will always stand in the gap for them and be a shoulder to cry on. But I have to begin in the Spirit and stay in the Spirit when it comes to their lives and situations that arise. Now I will be completely honest and say that I am not good at this. It doesn’t come natural. And as I am writing this I know that I will be held accountable for my words by them now LOL! But there is a peace that comes when we trust in our God. A peace that I need so much in my life. A peace that surpasses MY understanding, my human understanding.

How about you? Are their situations in your life right now that you are struggling with? Have you begun in the Spirit and are now trying to make them perfect in your own flesh? Are you overcome with anxiety and don’t know how to let go? I am right there with you. I am learning day by day how much my Father loves me and how trustworthy He is. You have to run to Him in your times of heartache and when trouble comes. He gives you peace, He lifts that burden, and He picks up the broken pieces. 

Follow Me

Do you ever find yourself comparing your life to someone else? If you get on Facebook even for a minute you begin to see the lives of others. Some good and some bad. I know we have all heard the quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I talked about joy in my last blog and how ultimate joy comes from God. And it does. But it’s so easy to look at someone else’s life and begin to get discouraged. The enemy will use this as a tactic. I have had to remove myself from social media numerous times because of it. I read something today that spoke to this and I wanted to share it with you.

I was in John 21 beginning with verse 20. Peter is looking back as he is walking with Jesus and sees John also following them. When Peter saw him he asked Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” Now I am not sure exactly why he is asking. I did a little bit of research and to be honest I am still not sure. But the Lord gives him an answer. “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” Maybe he is asking about how long he will live or if he will have to die a certain death. I am not sure, but I do know that John was labeled “the one that Jesus loved.” I sometimes wonder how that made the other disciples feel. Or did they know this about him?

There were a couple of things that stuck out to me. First in verse 20 it says that Peter turned and saw John was following them. Jesus made it clear in his answer to Peter, “What is it to you?” How many times do we stop and look around at what others are doing? Or how they are doing it? Or what the Lord has given them, but not us? I am guilty of this. I begin looking at what’s around me and it can intimidate me. It can knock me off my course. It can honestly put me into a form of depression. I have been there. 

The second thing he said to Peter in the scripture in John was, “Follow Me.”  Have you ever tried to walk forward while you are looking behind you? It’s actually hard. You begin to not walk straight anymore and almost at an angle. At least I do, lol. Maybe there is something to that. This reminds me of the verse in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.” When we follow and submit to Him, He makes our paths straight. It goes back to the example of trying to walk straight while looking behind you. It’s almost impossible. Jesus said plain and simple, “Follow Me.” If our eyes are on Him we have a straight path. Our path. Not the person next to us, we weren’t meant for their path. Even if it looks better than ours at the moment. 

We have to trust in the Lord with all of our heart and not lean on our own understanding. Sometimes my own understanding gets in the way of where the Lord wants to take me. Looking behind me or to the side of me gets me off of the straight path the Lord has promised me. It’s so easy to get side-tracked. But His plan for YOU is good and perfect. So guard your heart and mind today. Keep looking forward and keep your eyes on Jesus. You can trust Him. 

What Makes You Happy?

What makes you happy and full of joy? I have heard it said that happiness is based on circumstances and joy is found in the Lord. This is so true! But how do you get to the place where you experience this full joy? Where it’s not based on circumstances but it’s based on a completeness in God? Where you don’t wake up every morning expecting what you have planned or not planned to bring joy to your life? I want to share a bit of my life with you today and what I am learning. 

I woke up today a bit bummed about my circumstances. As my kids read this they will most likely be laughing at me because I have mentioned this numerous times. Bryan and I were supposed to be in Hawaii this week. We were supposed to leave this past Monday and be gone for an amazing 17 days. We were celebrating our 25 year wedding anniversary early and had planned this for almost a year. Well Covid put a stop to our plans. (I’m sure God had something to do with it as well )  And to be honest, my joy feels a bit lacking. 

I was looking forward to this trip. I felt like it was going to bring a sense of joy to my life that I needed. I mean doesn’t being in Hawaii fill every empty void in my life. :)  And then I began reading my Word this morning and of course the Lord showed up. He is so good like that. He wanted to remind me what true joy was, and now I want to remind you. 

I was in John, chapter fifteen. It is such an amazing chapter with so much to think on. Jesus begins by saying that He is the true vine, and His Father is the vinedresser. That every branch that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Whoever abides in Him, he will bear much fruit, but apart from Him we can do nothing.  Jesus is giving us directions on how to live our lives. That we can do nothing apart from Him. We can strive to do and be so many things but if we are not abiding in Him we are not producing true fruit that will last. Then I got to verse eleven. “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” He is showing us how to have true joy.

We base our happiness and joy on the things that are happening in our lives. I am so guilty of this. I love to be happy. I love the feeling happiness brings, who doesn’t? So much that I will re-create memories that have brought happiness to my life. I have taught my adult girls to do the same. (Sorry Girls)  Yesterday was the first official day of fall. How do I know this? Pumpkin spice came out at Starbucks!! We have a family tradition that we love that makes us happy. We grab a pumpkin spice latte on the first day they are out and we go to Hobby Lobby to look at fall and Christmas directions. It brings happiness to our lives. We wait for it all year!! Yesterday was a great day! But when I woke up this morning, what did I have planned that was going to top that and make me happy? That is where this verse in John 15:11 really opened my eyes. 

Nothing will ever fill me with joy like spending time with the Father. Not Hawaii, Starbucks, Hobby Lobby, Disney: Nothing.  He says to abide in Him that His joy may be in me, and that my joy may be full. Do you know what the definition of full is? The period or state of the greatest fullness or strength. Amazing! Everyday as I wake up and seek Him and abide in Him, I am in a period of fullness and strength. I don’t have to go anywhere or plan anything to find it other than to my Word. It is a joy that is complete and will last. It is a joy I can rest in. It is a joy that is always available to me. I pray you find this joy this morning and everyday of your life. 

Seek Me and You Will Find Me

I have written a lot of little blurbs lately to post but nothing has stuck. What do you say in a time where things still seem unsettled, everyone has a different opinion, life looks so much different, and you can’t quite get a grip on how you personally feel? So, I have been a bit quiet. But in that quietness I believe I am starting to feel a stirring in my heart. 

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Circumstances have changed but our God has not. He says “You will seek me and will find me when you seek me with all of your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13.  I have heard it said that God does not play hide and seek with us. When he says seek me and you will find me, it is true. He loves us. He loves us in our brokenness, He loves us in our confusion, He loves us when we don’t love ourselves, He loves us when we have strayed away, He loves us when we feel numb, He loves us. 

When things seem out of control in my life, I begin to control what I can. They aren’t always good things. And usually it becomes in excess to compensate for what I can’t control. For instance, my home will be spotless. (This is a sickness I have in general lol). I will begin to eat right, exercise, go to bed early, take my vitamins, read my bible, and be a “good” wife. (You know what I mean by good :) These things in themselves aren’t bad, but they won’t sustain. They won’t last. Especially the clean house. Before I know it I feel out of control again. And I feel like I am on a crazy cycle. 

This week I have done all of these things, minus being a “good” wife. Bryan is out of town. ;)  But the thing that has helped me the absolute most is spending time in my Word. If I am honest, this has always been the hardest thing for me. But right now I long for it. It’s life to my soul. The words are jumping off the pages and I am seeing so much that I have never seen before. I am understanding just how much He loves me, for me. I don’t have to strive, I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to rest in Him. Rest is a hard word for me. But I am learning to rest. 

I am no different than you. God longs to spend time with you. He longs to show you things in the Word that you haven’t seen. He longs to bring you rest and to show you how to bring rest to others. He loves you. His Word is what sustains you. It has Life. Are you dry and weary? Are you overwhelmed? Are you anxious? Go today to the river of life and fill up. He is your answer. 

Check out our bible plan at www.reverb.church/step

What’s Your Reason?

We have been doing a bible reading plan as a church at Reverb.  I love it because it keeps me accountable and gives me direction. I am typically the person who opens up their bible and just begins to read. God has spoken to me many times that way, but I can also get distracted very easily. By the time I have finished my quiet time I have frequented half of the books of the bible. 

The other day I was in Daniel 4 and the Lord really spoke a Word to my heart. King Nebuchadnezzar was given a dream, a warning not to be prideful in the fact that “he” was building a great kingdom. He was taking credit for all that was happening within the kingdom and not giving glory to God. Daniel came and interpreted this dream. He told King Nebuchadnezzar that things needed to change or the dream would come to pass where he would be removed from the throne and driven from men and become like the beasts of the fields and made to eat grass. Fast forward and King Nebuchadnezzar didn’t change and lost his kingdom for a period of time. He became like the beast of the field. 

After a period of time Nebuchadnezzar's “reason” returned to him and his eyes were truly open. In Daniel 4:34 it reads,  “At the end of my days, I, Nebuchadnezzar, lifted my eyes to heaven and my reason returned to me and I blessed the Most High, and praised and honored him who lives forever.” In this passage, his “reason” means his understanding or logic. But I read this in a different light and I wanted to share it with you. 

Nebuchadnezzar was using his position to give himself praise and admiration. He wasn’t ruling the Kingdom the way God intended. His “reason” was not to point people to God and show mercy to the oppressed. He had lost sight of his purpose. When God restored his “reason” to him to think clearly, I also believe He restored his “reason” to him as why he is King. 

It got me thinking, What is My Reason? What is my reason for being a good wife? What is my reason for raising my children in the Lord? What is my reason for blogging? What is my reason for dedicating my life to Reverb Church? Sometimes life happens and we forget our reason. It can become about ourselves and our accomplishments and we can begin to take credit for how things have turned out. 

Our reason should always be to point people to Christ. How are you living that out? If I am honest, a lot of times I make things about me. I act as if my life is hard and forget that it’s all for Him. I want to challenge you to think about your reason. Live each day reminding yourself that it’s all for Him!

Be Still and Know

I am sitting at the counter in my kitchen working and listening to Pandora. I have it set to the Belonging Co. station because it’s one of my favorites right now. I love listening to worship while I work and write. Bryan thinks I am crazy! He doesn’t understand how I can work, listen to music, and think at the same time. He listens to William Augusto, which is music with no lyrics. It makes me want to fall asleep. No offense to William or Bryan. 

 As I am working, the song “Isn’t He” by the Belonging Co came on. I love how songs take you back to moments in your life. I was reminded of our last Ladies Connect night at our church. How we all gathered and worshipped together and how God moved. I took those moments for granted and now I long for them. I miss corporate worship and I miss gathering together and encouraging one another. 

However, I am thankful for the pause that made me realize how much I miss it and how thankful I am for it. It fueled me even more. It made me realize the joy I receive from walking out the calling God has placed on my life. The calling that I ran from for years. I love how God works. That it’s in His timing and for his glory. 

What is this pause in the world right now allowing you to see? It’s been a difficult season for all of us but God is still moving and speaking. In fact, so much has been stripped away. I believe He wants us to slow down just a bit and look at what is really important. That’s sometimes hard when we are always on the go. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  

I have spent a lot of my life kicking and screaming when it comes to understanding what God is doing in my life. Rarely have I been able to “Be still and know that He is God”. God has always moved regardless of my stubbornness but I often think back about how I handled situations. My prayer is that I would learn to trust God in every circumstance and really learn how to be still. I pray that for you as well.

Walk Normal

I had a procedure done on my toe a couple of weeks ago. It’s the toe next to the baby toe, just in case you were wondering. I had gone to the dermatologist and they saw a spot that looked different. Honestly, to me, it looked like a freckle. The biopsy came back abnormal and said it could possibly turn into melanoma. ON MY TOE!  So they went in and removed it as deep and wide as they could. Let’s be honest, there’s not much skin on a little toe. 

I’m a baby when it comes to any kind of procedure and always think the worst. Could have something to do with Google. Could have something to do with why I have anxiety lol. Since the procedure I have been walking with a limp. At first it was because it really hurt! I was trying not to apply pressure to that area. But two weeks in, I realize that I am still walking with a limp. It’s still healing but it’s not hurting. However, I can not figure out how to walk normally again. As much as I try, I keep going back to the limp.

There’s a lesson in this. I felt like the Lord was revealing hurts in our lives and our reactions. When something happens to us that hurts, we do what we can to protect ourselves. Sometimes on purpose, and sometimes without knowing. I was limping on purpose at first to protect myself from the hurt. But now I am limping because it has become a habit. And sometimes I don’t even realize I am doing it, it’s become my new normal. This limp is actually affecting other areas of my foot and most likely other areas of my body. 

It made me start to think of how I deal with hurt. Am I carrying old wounds into new situations? Am I still limping from the last hurt? Have I stopped long enough to notice that I am still limping? Have I dealt with the hurt? 

I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I am still trying to figure all of this out as well. All I know is that right now I am walking around the house telling myself “Walk Normal”! I know I know how to walk, but my body has adjusted to the limp. The good news is I am aware of it and I’m working on it. 

Rattle

Have you ever identified your life with the words to a song? I am addicted to the song “Rattle” right now by Elevation Worship. I keep it on repeat at the gym as I use the dreaded stair stepper. I have it timed out perfectly. If I play the song twice I am almost halfway done with my cardio. I am sure people look at me a little crazy as I silently declare the words of the song over my life. 

The song speaks of dry bones rattling and dead things coming back to life. As I sing the phrase “Open the grave, I’m coming out, I’m gonna live, gonna live again”, something happens within my Spirit. I want to truly live out the life that God has given me in the freedom that He has given me. I spoke in my previous blog on how God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.  I don’t always operate in that freedom. I really want to, I desire it, but it doesn’t always happen. 

I have struggled with a form of anxiety for years. I can’t really pinpoint when it started or how it started but it’s something I have to take to the Lord frequently. My thoughts and mind sometimes tend to run wild. I will share more of my journey in the blogs to come. I felt guilt for years because of it but now realize that I am not alone in this.  

That is what the enemy wants you to feel in your silent battles, alone. When we feel alone we tend to pull away from anyone that can really speak life into our circumstances. We begin to second guess everything and allow the enemy to have a field day with our emotions. We begin to think we are broken beyond repair, or at least that is how I felt. But I am not broken and neither are you. 

I don’t know where you may find yourself today. But regardless, put on the song “Rattle” and let it ignite a fire within you. Let the words wash over you. And if you feel like you have been in the grave alone, declare those words out loud today. “Open the grave, I’m coming out, I’m gonna live, gonna live again.”  This is what He desires for us. 

Here I Am

Have you ever felt a nudge from the Lord? A few years ago, I felt like I was supposed to start blogging. Let me be honest, I don’t read blogs and I am not a writer. So, I brushed it off and talked myself out of it. But the nudge has not relented so here I am, blogging. I have no idea what the Lord wants to do with this. Maybe it’s just for me, or maybe it is for others.

 I was in my quiet time tonight and the Lord pointed something out in Acts 9:10. It reads,  “Now there was a disciple in Damascus named Ananias. The Lord said to him in a vision “Ananias”.  And he said, “Here I am, Lord.”

 I want to have the heart of Ananias. For the Lord to speak my name and for me to say “Here I am Lord”. And to walk out whatever the Lord calls me to do. I haven’t always done that. In fact, most of the time I tell the Lord why it’s not possible.  Fear plays such a huge part in that for me.  Fear of not being qualified, fear of failure, fear of not knowing how it will turn out. 

I approached 2020 with a different heart. I was going to face fear head on and do the things that scared me.  I flew by myself for the first time to a women’s getaway in Montana for Pastors wives. I know that doesn’t sound life altering but for me it was. I went snowshoeing, and went skeet shooting for the first time. I got locked in a cement wall porta potty and managed not to panic. (The door froze shut- that’s a story in itself) I said Yes to my first speaking engagement at a conference in our area.  It got postponed because of COVID 19, but I said yes. 

My point is I am tired of fear running my life. I have missed out on so much because of it. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7. So I am saying Yes to blogging. I am saying “Here I am Lord”. Even when I’m not sure why I am saying yes. 

Where are you at in all of this? Does fear run your life? Do you give the Lord excuses of why you can’t do something? Or are you great at saying “Here I am Lord” and trusting Him. I am not great at it. But I am on my way.