Here I Am
Have you ever felt a nudge from the Lord? A few years ago, I felt like I was supposed to start blogging. Let me be honest, I don’t read blogs and I am not a writer. So, I brushed it off and talked myself out of it. But the nudge has not relented so here I am, blogging. I have no idea what the Lord wants to do with this. Maybe it’s just for me, or maybe it is for others.
I was in my quiet time tonight and the Lord pointed something out in Acts 9:10. It reads, “Now there was a disciple in Damascus named Ananias. The Lord said to him in a vision “Ananias”. And he said, “Here I am, Lord.”
I want to have the heart of Ananias. For the Lord to speak my name and for me to say “Here I am Lord”. And to walk out whatever the Lord calls me to do. I haven’t always done that. In fact, most of the time I tell the Lord why it’s not possible. Fear plays such a huge part in that for me. Fear of not being qualified, fear of failure, fear of not knowing how it will turn out.
I approached 2020 with a different heart. I was going to face fear head on and do the things that scared me. I flew by myself for the first time to a women’s getaway in Montana for Pastors wives. I know that doesn’t sound life altering but for me it was. I went snowshoeing, and went skeet shooting for the first time. I got locked in a cement wall porta potty and managed not to panic. (The door froze shut- that’s a story in itself) I said Yes to my first speaking engagement at a conference in our area. It got postponed because of COVID 19, but I said yes.
My point is I am tired of fear running my life. I have missed out on so much because of it. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7. So I am saying Yes to blogging. I am saying “Here I am Lord”. Even when I’m not sure why I am saying yes.
Where are you at in all of this? Does fear run your life? Do you give the Lord excuses of why you can’t do something? Or are you great at saying “Here I am Lord” and trusting Him. I am not great at it. But I am on my way.