Walk Normal
I had a procedure done on my toe a couple of weeks ago. It’s the toe next to the baby toe, just in case you were wondering. I had gone to the dermatologist and they saw a spot that looked different. Honestly, to me, it looked like a freckle. The biopsy came back abnormal and said it could possibly turn into melanoma. ON MY TOE! So they went in and removed it as deep and wide as they could. Let’s be honest, there’s not much skin on a little toe.
I’m a baby when it comes to any kind of procedure and always think the worst. Could have something to do with Google. Could have something to do with why I have anxiety lol. Since the procedure I have been walking with a limp. At first it was because it really hurt! I was trying not to apply pressure to that area. But two weeks in, I realize that I am still walking with a limp. It’s still healing but it’s not hurting. However, I can not figure out how to walk normally again. As much as I try, I keep going back to the limp.
There’s a lesson in this. I felt like the Lord was revealing hurts in our lives and our reactions. When something happens to us that hurts, we do what we can to protect ourselves. Sometimes on purpose, and sometimes without knowing. I was limping on purpose at first to protect myself from the hurt. But now I am limping because it has become a habit. And sometimes I don’t even realize I am doing it, it’s become my new normal. This limp is actually affecting other areas of my foot and most likely other areas of my body.
It made me start to think of how I deal with hurt. Am I carrying old wounds into new situations? Am I still limping from the last hurt? Have I stopped long enough to notice that I am still limping? Have I dealt with the hurt?
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I am still trying to figure all of this out as well. All I know is that right now I am walking around the house telling myself “Walk Normal”! I know I know how to walk, but my body has adjusted to the limp. The good news is I am aware of it and I’m working on it.